Back In My Day: Civilized War Katrina Finale & Looking Forward

There are those times when we look back and wonder what happened to somebody or something. The Katrina relief effort was a life changing eye opener. As a follow-up I thought it would be good to focus on a couple of people and what we all learned before charging into Goober Gump’s next adventure.

But first, let’s go there…

Changed Lives

The Skeptic

Do you remember the skeptic that worked in our operation that had joined the relief team in MS? He had moved with his family to our area from the west coast to be near to his parents who had migrated into east TN when they retired. He was an excellent analyst and special projects leader for our business banking team. But he was troubled personally. His family life was strained and he still struggled with insecurities relating to having been adopted as a young child. He sought refuge at work and being with good friends there. He confided to me that he feared he and his wife may be headed toward a divorce if things did not change. She had no interest in church even with their children being involved and had become distant to all of them.

The trip to MS and time with Ms. Ruth changed that for the skeptic; and as a result his marriage and children. If nothing else worthwhile happened it was worth the effort for that alone. This man’s heart caught fire for something bigger than himself.

Over the ensuing months his atheist wife saw such changes in him that she could no longer ignore it. She became much more attentive to his and the needs of their children. He was so inspired by the MS trip that upon our return he did a photo/music slideshow for all to see at local churches, civic organizations and in our offices.

It could not have come at a better time as his father was soon diagnosed with Alzheimers. He would need his faith in Christ and the church to help him take care of his parents’ needs and financial affairs as well as being a productive worker, husband and father.

As a result of the aftermath of a hurricane, friendships with coworkers who truly cared about him, and spending time with Ms. Ruth; everything changed for The Skeptic.

The Contractor

My brother from another mother (BFAM) was forever changed as well. He knew the Lord on a very deep, personal level prior to his trips to MS for the relief effort. Yet, at the time he had no idea what would happen next due to this faith.

He had worked for quite some time as a contractor for an east TN public housing agency. In those housing environments he had seen the best and worst that humanity had to offer. To say he knew his craft of new construction, rebuilds, renovations and remodels would be an understatement. It also was a perfect environment for him to be a daily witness for Christ.

To understand how unlikely that he would even grow into being a disciple of Christ, you first need to know his background. He grew up in poverty. He was the oldest child and his father was an abusive alcoholic who made his then pre-teenage son drive him to the local bars. The boy would sit in the car or even go inside sometimes and wait for his dad to get loaded so that he could drive him home, where his father would be abusive to the family.

This went on until he got old enough to leave and his father passed away. He began working construction jobs after graduating from high school and served in the Navy. He married a local woman and began having kids. However, the marriage fell apart after four children and little more than a decade later, which which led to a divorce. He continued working in construction to provide for his children, taking every job he could find.

Then everything began to change. It was now the early 1980s and over the years he had found steady work as a carpenter with a local contractor. There was a new UMC church building they were contracted to build for a small, growing congregation in a rapidly growing residential area nearby. During the course of construction his supervisor assigned him to build a large Cross that would be backlighted and mounted on the wall behind the stage area. The assignment and congregation members involved with the construction team planted seeds in his mind and heart that began to grow.

He became a member of that small congregation and was present the day my wife and I first visited. However, we never really got to know each other and then he stopped coming after a few months. Life moved on, until a half dozen years later. Our family had become very active members in the church and its ministries. One Sunday morning my soon to be BFAM walked in with an attractive, well dressed red haired woman on his arm. So, that’s what happened to him. Normally that would not be cause for notice except BFAM resembled a bald headed Hell’s Angel biker dude in jeans. EVERYBODY noticed. 😂 In reality he was a biker dude, but he was a Honda Goldwing instead of Harley type guy.

You could tell what we were all thinking, “She must like bad boys.”; although he was no longer one. That is until we found out they had worked together at the same housing agency for over a dozen years at that point. She had remained single, a career professional CPA from a devout southern Baptist family. This lady was the CFO and BFAM had been promoted to the top contractor position. They were a thing professionally and personally with a bond that had grown through the years from mutual friendship and respect. BFAM had watched and learned. He knew she was a rock star at work and a straight arrow in her personal life. If he wanted to have a shot with her, he knew he was going to have to step up a notch and receive the blessings of her parents. It came together just when he needed it most to have a solid female presence as a positive influence in his children’s lives. They were soon married and were there every time the doors opened if work did not get in the way.

Their lives were good and fun filled for years until she developed crippling rheumatoid arthritis. Even that did not stop BFAM’s rock star. She would have none of any sympathy anybody offered. She just kept working to take care of others in her job, in her church, with their parents, with his children, and especially, in their marriage.

After we returned from MS, BFAM began experiencing unusual periods of fatigue. This led to his wife pushing him to see his doc. Over the course of the next few months and tests with specialists, he learned he had CLL, Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. This led to taking early retirement a few years later while his wife continued to work. The children had grown up and moved on with their lives.

As the Lord would have it, prior to his illness and diagnosis BFAM had already begun studies and training within the UMC to become a licensed local pastor. He said he clearly had the calling placed on his heart and knew that was what he was supposed to do with the rest of his life after retirement. He just had no idea at the time it would come so quickly.

God wants what He wants when He wants it. Our role is to say, “Yes, Lord.” Then go do it.

During the same year all of it was going on, nearly a year after the MS trip, my father passed away from cancer at the age of 83, which was somewhat expected. While making arrangements for the funeral and burial over 300 miles from our home, BFAM stepped in the gap for me and my family. He even took the associate pastor of our church to the funeral to be there for us. He had taken time to get to know my father, who lived with us in east TN for four months before he passed. We will never forget his kindness and support.

Becoming a pastor brought his elderly mother great pride and peace, who became a very active member in our congregation until her death a number of years later. It was a full circle recovery for her and she had grown in the faith as her son had led her closer. Her resolve was strong as she held an office job into her 80s. She only retired due to health concerns and because she could no longer drive herself safely to work. BFAM continued to see to her needs and we built a handicap ramp at her home to assist. He was also there for his alcoholic brother, to whom he witnessed for years until he passed away. As usual with us there was a connection to his brother whom we had not previously met as our daughter, a nurse, attended to his dialysis needs in the Nephrology unit of a large local medical center during his last year of life. Our little angel was a caregiver and witness to his brother several days per week for months.

The Contractor went on to pastor small congregations in the area as the UMC leadership appointed over the next 15+ years, including a return engagement as an Associate Pastor of his home church when his health was suffering. As the CLL has slowly progressed, he has reduced his time in the pulpit to only interim position appointments. His understanding of The Word is the same as mine and it hurt him deeply to see the UMC splinter with some groups refusing to accept the inerrancy and traditional view of scripture. His one condition to be an interim pastor today is that the UMC leadership must accept that he will preach and administer The Word as written no matter who may object in the congregation to whom he is assigned. They have agreed to this point and as a result he has recently taken on another small, rural congregation that has been struggling due to the denominational split issues. I have no doubts it will be healthy and thriving again when he is finished.

His wife retired with much fanfare by the housing agency. She trained her successor during her last year. She is also enjoying a moderate improvement in her RA condition as she has been retooling her treatment plan with the assistance of Vanderbilt in Nashville. She has always been the perfect wife of a pastor, active in the choir and teaching. It is a role she relishes.

The Uptake

It is interesting how a 9 day relief trip to help others through difficult situations changes one’s perspective on what is important in life. I needed this as much as the others who joined in the journey and the local recipients. The appreciation of those receiving assistance was profound. Our respect for the jaw dropping, raw power of nature that was unleashed upon the land was greatly increased. The strength of the American spirit was on full display every single day.

How people adapted to their living conditions could be very innovative. As an example, when we first traveled into downtown Biloxi and toured the area near the bay we saw something I have never seen before and will probably never see again. A creative homeowner had taken a very large, damaged interstate sign that had floated into the area, somehow bent it in the form of a building, and created a really cool carport for his pickup truck. Another was in our travels to Pass Christian, which was near Ground Zero of the storm surge from the ocean. We saw the remnants of an older two story home about six rows back from the beach highway. The entire bottom floor was gone other than the studs, which was holding up the second story with damaged, but intact walls and the remaining roof structure. It was the ONLY residential building left standing in that area for several miles on the ocean side of levee. 🤪

The experience taught me how to do many residential construction activities that I never knew how to do previously. It also inspired us to start a ministry for the elderly and handicapped in our church and community when we returned. This led to taking on handicap ramps, decks, new roofs, window and door repairs/replacements, replacing hot water tanks, property clean-ups and so on. Being a desk jockey in my career, I needed this to feel useful in a practical sense as well as a playing a part in something important.

We all learned that what we have or do does not define who we are. We learned to hold onto things lightly, that in a blink of an eye it can all change and be lost. We learned that life is indeed, good. So yeah, I’m the old guy you see wearing Life is Good t-shirts when you are out and about.

The movement of the Holy Spirit in the lives of all was on full display. People were willing to do things there that they were previously unwilling to do at home. Lives were changed forever. This rippled out to family members and friends, just as the Lord intends for all of us.

Conclusion

Upon my return to work, I learned that nobody really missed me. In reality, that is exactly what I had hoped would happen. The past dozen years had taken their toil on me personally, so I was very pleased that everybody did their thing and kept it rolling. At this point the division was doing very well financially and ownership was pleased.

The SBA had continued to increase the emphasis on the other loan program supported most by W and his cronies since our industry’s negotiation and restoration. This led to some internal discussions and analysis being conducted in conjunction with our preferred loan purchaser for a hybrid loan program I had in mind to take advantage of those changes.

We will pick up on this next time as it would eventually lead Goober into the jaws of Babylon. “How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land?”